Many of us think of empty nest syndrome as something only parents go through, but the idea of leaving our parents is scary to us kids too.

A little background about me is that I’m the oldest of two to a single mom. I didn’t have a hard time leaving home my freshman year of college because my mom still had my brother to worry about, and they even got a lot closer. However, this year is going to be tougher to go back to school because my brother is moving out to start his freshman year of college, making my mom an empty nester.

The fact that my brother and I will both be leaving home this year is freaking me out. My mom has had kids in the house for over 20 years; does she know what to do without us?! The idea of my mom being lonely or having no one to eat dinner with every day puts a pit in my stomach, but, I’m trying to look at it on the bright side and think of all the positive changes my mom will go through becoming an empty nester.

There will be A LOT less laundry

My brother is an athlete so he wore several outfits per day. Honestly, whenever I’m home and fold laundry, the majority of a load is my brother’s clothes. Not only will the water bill be significantly less, my mom will have more time to do things she actually enjoys, since I don’t think laundry is a hobby she really wants.

She can take up a hobby

I don’t think my mom will become a knitter, but she could! She will now have free time in place of the time spent at cold baseball games, award ceremonies, or at school events. Maybe she’ll become an avid painter, coin collector, or yoga guru. Who knows! The hobby world is her oyster.

A cheaper grocery bill

As a teenage boy, my brother definitely hikes up the costs of groceries during the week. That boy could eat 4 sandwiches for a snack. When both my brother and I would be gone visiting our dad, my mom would joke that she could make one steak and a sweet potato and eat it all week.

A cleaner house

It’s no secret that kids are messy, and teenagers aren’t any better. They might even be worse. With both my brother and I out of the house, there will definitely be fewer messes made.

She can focus on herself

My mom has always put us first, and now she can focus a lot more on herself and figuring out what she really likes. It’ll be so good for her to be able to decide what she wants to do without worrying about where my brother or I need to be for once.  She can make the dinner she likes, and do things her way, which I think is really exciting.

Empty nest syndrome is definitely common, and happens to tons of parents every year. It will definitely be an adjustment for my mom, but I think she’ll grow to love her one steak and one load of laundry per week.

Video games like Fortnite are becoming more and more popular by the day. It doesn’t help the fact that they are played inside on a screen.

Olivia Belter is a mother of three teenage boys, ages 18, 15 and 13. She has had to master the art of getting her boys to look forward to outdoor, family time, rather than Fortnite time. During the school year, her kids have busy lives full of sports, school, and activities. That’s why summer is the perfect time to squeeze in family time outside. But how do you get three teenage boys to enjoy a walk with their mom?

Now that we are getting settled into the summer, Olivia has found some helpful tips to get teens outside and away from video games.

Have a purpose

Olivia said, “this past weekend we went to Panama Rocks and went hiking there and had lunch afterward and that’s kind of been our thing.” Whether it’s Panama Rocks, the gorge, or the eternal flame, all the locations they’ve visited have a purpose to it that her boys can look forward to i.e. waterfall, swimming hole, caves.

Make it “insta worthy”

Going along with the last tip, Olivia suggests the trip be “insta worthy.” “Since they are so addicted to their phones,” Olivia added, “they could also post about it on social media. It’s an opportunity for them to go somewhere cool and show their friends.” All of a sudden, a walk with your mom turns into a viral Instagram post.

Give them a choice

“Give them a list of places to choose from,” Olivia said. Giving teens a choice makes them feel involved and more excited about what they’re doing. Olivia mentioned that she’ll search for new things to do, and let her boys pick from there.

Occasionally let them bring a friend

Bringing a friend along will only make the trip seem cooler to your child. “When their friend has a good time with you and your teen, they’re going to tell their friends and parents, and also make your teen feel better about family time,” Olivia said.

Be prepared with food

It’s no secret that growing teenagers love food. “I am known as the ‘cooler mom’ because I always have a cooler with healthy snacks,” Olivia said. She also mentioned that it alleviates the need to stop, and her boys have something to look forward to. Olivia also added that stopping for ice cream or cookies could also make for a fun treat they look forward to after a day of hiking and healthy snacks.

Alleviate the fear of the unknown

Olivia shared that much of the reason teens are reluctant is the fear of the unknown, being embarrassed, or bored. “After they realize that you are trying to make it a fun for everyone, they will get over that,” Olivia said.

Olivia explained why getting outdoors family time with your teenagers is so important. “So much of their time is scheduled with something else. You have to make an effort to be outside and be outdoors when you can,” Olivia said. It is rare for the whole family to get time to just talk and laugh together.

Using these tips, hopefully your teen will also look forward to family time, especially time spent in the outdoors.

Do you want to empower kids to be active? The Rochester Triathletes do this through the Rochester Youth Triathlon on Saturday, July 28, 2018 at Genesee Valley Park. This eighth annual event is for kids ages six to 17 years old and features the only Teen Super Sprint in New York State. Any youth who can swim, ride a bike, and run (or walk) are encouraged to “come out and give it a tri!”

What is a Youth Triathlon?

The kids will swim in the park’s 50-meter outdoor pool, ride along the Genesee River paved bike trails, and run on the park’s trails and sidewalks. It starts at 8:30 a.m. and has three distances for the kids to choose from:

Short Course: 50 meter swim, 2.2 mile bike, 0.5 mile run

Long Course: 100 meter swim, 4.3 mile bike, 1.0 mile run

Teen Super Sprint: 300 meter swim, 6.4 mile bike, 1.8 mile run

All participants get a finisher’s medal. The top three finishers for boys and girls in the Teen Super Sprint will receive awards.

Cynthia Childs is the founder and former race director of the Rochester Youth Triathlon and a Workplace Wellness & Telemedicine Consultant at Excellus BlueCross BlueShield. She is passionate about the youth triathlon and kids’ wellness in general. “I became involved because I have a passion for the city, the sport of triathlon, and empowering people—kids in particular—to be active,” said Childs. Although she stepped down as race director, she plans to stay involved with the Rochester Youth Triathlon.

“Everyone’s just really happy”

Maplewood YMCA offers a Kids Triathlon program to help train the boys and girls for participation in the event. Thirteen-year-old Leilani Hernandez is a member of the program and this year will be her fourth youth triathlon. “I think it’s a really fun event because it encourages kids to become healthier and there’s so many people supporting each other,” said Hernandez. “Everyone’s just really happy and it’s a good environment for kids to be around.” She plans to participate in the triathlon every year until she turns eighteen. She loves the event and enjoys being active with other kids.

While sponsors like the City of Rochester, Enterprise, Wegmans Food Marker, Inc. and Excellus BlueCross BlueShield make this event possible, the event coordinators and volunteers make it happen. They are there through the entire event, encouraging the kids and taking care of all the details.

“It makes it all worthwhile when you see the smiles and looks of determination and accomplishment on the kids’ faces!”

Long-time Youth Tri volunteer Gordy Whitaker took over after Childs stepped down as race director last year. “We have a great team of coordinators that dedicate a lot of time and effort to make this a fun event for all,” said Whitaker. “It makes it all worthwhile when you see the smiles and looks of determination and accomplishment on the kids’ faces!”

If you’d like to join the group of volunteers that create this happy, healthy, and active environment for kids, please e-mail the Volunteer Coordinator at kidsvolunteer@RochesterTriathletes.com.

Click here to find out all the details about the Rochester Youth Triathlon and register your kids to participate!

As we approach the Fourth of July, I can’t help but notice the increase in road-side tents, filled to the edges with boxes and bags. And I don’t mean the garage sales. The tents are filled with fireworks.

You might be wondering about fireworks safety? If so, remember that the best way to stay safe with fireworks is to not use them at home. Watching a public fireworks display is much safer!

“Children should never play with fireworks and even sparklers should be discouraged,” said LouAnne Giangreco, M.D., Excellus BlueCross BlueShield. “It is better for everyone to leave fireworks to the professionals.”

Staying safe this holiday could even include starting other fun traditions, she added, with safer toys such as glow sticks, necklaces, fun hats and wind spinners!

But if fireworks are legal in your area, and you want to use them, here are five tips to help keep you and your loved ones safe.

1. Sparklers are Still Fireworks

You may think sparklers are safe for kids. But they do get very hot – hot enough to even burn some metals! – and can cause injury. Sparklers cause 19 percent of firework injuries, according to the  U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. If using sparklers, be sure to follow the directions, use proper eye protection and maintain a safe distance. If a child is burned, remove clothing from the burned area and call your doctor immediately.

2. Reign in the Troops

With the excitement of the holidays, kids tend to goof off. Make sure the kids know the dangers of fireworks. Stress the importance of safety. Even pointing fireworks at others as a joke is dangerous. Establish “firework rules,” such as steering clear of the adults as they set off the fireworks. If an eye injury occurs, do not touch or rub it or flush the eye out with water. Get medical care right away.

3. Don’t Buy Illegal Fireworks

If you’re buying fireworks, make sure you’re buying the legal kind.  Legal fireworks show labels with the manufacturer’s name, as well as clear directions. Unlabeled fireworks are illegal, according to KidsHealth.org, and don’t be fooled by names like M-80, M100, blockbuster, or quarter-pounder.

4. Be Safe, Not Sorry

Avoid buying fireworks that are packaged in brown paper, this tends to be a sign it was made for a professional display, not a small backyard celebration.

Also, check that it is legal to purchase fireworks in your area. If you live in upstate New York, here’s more information from some local newspapers:

• Democrat & Chronicle 
• Syracuse.com

5. Don’t Skip the Small Stuff

Store fireworks in a cool, dry place. A wet firework could be harder to light, which can cause irregular explosions.

Never relight a firework. It can be disappointing not to see your favorite explosion go off, but it’s not worth the risk of a random explosion during an attempted relight.

Also, keep a bucket of water and a hose nearby, just in case.

The Last Word

But remember: 280 people visit the emergency room every day with firework-related issues in the month around July 4th, according to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

So as you consider the types of fun you can have on July 4th, don’t forget to check out local fireworks shows for a safer – and just as enjoyable – holiday alternative.

For more safety tips, visit the following sites:

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

KidsHealth.org

American Academy of Pediatrics

I find a reason every year to delay the opening of our backyard pool.

I declared last spring, for example, that the pool was to stay closed until we finished cleaning up the yard and mulching. Since I live on a big lot with too many gardens, the pool remained closed until mid-July.

I’ll continue with the rule this year. Maybe I can think of a way to delay until August?

Why am I so reluctant to jump into a quintessential part of summer? The reason is named Matthew. He’s a feistily independent 3-year-old whom I fear will find a way into the pool one day when I’m not looking.

Pool safety tips

In case I run out of excuses, and we do open our pool before fall, I did a little research on pool safety tips to help lessen my neurosis. Here’s what I found:

1. An adult should always watch the child when he’s in the pool. But I have a preschooler who climbs bookshelves or runs out of buildings when you turn your back for like three seconds.  What if he tries to get into the pool when I’m not looking? If that happens, hopefully, this pool safety checklist will prevent anything bad from happening:
2. Teach children how to swim. I’m one for two on this one. The big brother can swim, but the little 3-year-old can’t. Your local YMCA and/or Parks and Recreation department may offer swim lessons. Remember: Just because a kid can swim doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch them in the pool.
3. Install a fence around the pool that is at least four feet in height. It shouldn’t be climbable and there shouldn’t be more than 4 inches between the vertical slats. In addition to installing a non-climbable fence, there should not be anything alongside the fence, like lawn furniture, that could be used to climb it. Kids are very good problem solvers.
4. Have a self-closing, self-latching gate. And for those with above ground pools, when the pool is not in use, lock or remove ladders and steps to prevent access.
5. Keep pool covers in working order. Hmmm. Need to check this one. Our cover is looking a little shabby.
6. Know how to perform CPR on children and adults. I took a CPR class last year for this very reason. But I’m not good in emergencies. I’m doubtful I’ll be any help if my worst fears come true.
7. Establish pool “rules” – such as “no running on the pool deck” and “no diving in a pool that’s not deep enough.” Another suggested rule is to keep toys away from the pool when the pool is not in use, so kids aren’t tempted to go play with them. I like the rules. I’ll adopt them immediately.
8. Pool alarms. I want one. Now. I’m adding this to the list of “requirements” needed to open the pool. A pool alarm may offer some benefit, but keep in mind that it’s not to replace proper fencing.
9. Make pool safety interesting. Try showing your child this video:

   Or have them interact with this app. Get the app in the app store or google play.

10. Convey to your child that the wrath of mom and dad will reign down on him if he’s found in the pool area without an adult. This is my very own rule. Maybe it’s a bit extreme.

But I’m hoping my threats, combined with these tips, will help me keep my sometimes disobedient son safe this summer.

I’m graduating.

I’ve been saying those words a lot lately…mostly in my head. For the past couple of months, it’s been difficult to wrap my head around that concept. I’ve been a student for the past 16 years; I’m not quite sure I know how to be anything else.

The Fears of a Graduate

Like most college seniors, I’ve gone through the appropriate motions. I’m on the home stretch to graduate, I’m trying not to get a bad case of senioritis and I’m applying for jobs. With a lot of hard work and pleasant persistence, I hope to land a job—but what if I don’t?

Most, if not all 22-year-olds are impatient to hit the ground running with a job related to their college major. We want it and we want it now.

As I fight my impatience to snag my first real job, my family has my back 100 percent of the time. Still, that doesn’t mean I won’t obsess over these questions:

When will I have a job?   Where will it be? What will I be doing? Do I want to live in my hometown or move away? When I get a job, will I be able to have a nice place to live, pay off student loans, afford a car?

“We’ll always be here if you need us”

As I ponder what could happen, I took the direct approach and asked my mom and dad how they’re feeling about another child venturing into the adult world. After all, they’ve raised four children over a span of 36 years—each with their own trials and tribulations after college.

What my parents said provided me with the confidence needed to take the next step. Susan Morris, my mother, possibly the toughest woman I know, has never doubted her children.

“You kids never worried us. Your dad and I are reminded every day how great you all are” she said.

I’ve always envisioned myself in a big city after college; I’ve made it a point to let my parents know this. Not because I want to get away from my hometown of Syracuse, N.Y., but because my parents have raised me to feel confident enough to tackle anything.

“If you want to stay here, that’s great. If you want to move halfway across the world, that’s your decision, but we’ll always be here if you need us,” Mom said.

At this point in the conversation, I had to fight back the tears.

For my dad, Kevin Morris, having his children move away is hard for him to accept. My sister, who is married with two kids, lives on Long Island. One brother lives locally; the other is still in college.

“You say you’ve been a student for 16 years, but we’ve been parents for double that time. We’re never going to stop being your parents,” he said. “As you move onto this chapter of your life, we have to let go and let you take the reins.”

Disappointed? OK. Discouraged? No Way!

From as early as I can remember, my parents have drilled this piece of advice into their children’s heads:

“It is OK to be disappointed—but it’s never OK to be discouraged.”

If the last four years of college taught me anything, it’s that nothing is guaranteed. But I’m ready to take the reins. I don’t know if it’s college, or my parents’ confidence in me or life, in general, that’s taught me:

In life, you can work the hardest you’ve ever worked and still not get what you want, but you keep trying anyway. That’s the point.

 

 

I’ve recently dragged my family on a multitude of wintery adventures. Winter in upstate New York is frigid, endless and very snowy. I wanted to find ways to enjoy this time of year, not loathe it!

All of our adventures revolved (mostly) around getting outside and moving. I’m happy to report that all of our escapades were (mostly) successful at getting us to enjoy the frozen tundra of upstate New York!

Favorite winter hike

We’ve embarked on several hikes at the historic Fort Hill at Ganondagan in Victor, Ontario County.

On the hikes, my boys love to run ahead and sneak behind trees, trying to scare us once my husband and I catch up to them.

On a hike during an unusually warm Saturday in January, we hiked all the way from Fort Hill to Dryer Road Park! It took us at least 30 minutes, but the reward of the playground at Dryer Road kept them going.

(Just a warning that dad did have to run back through the trails to fetch the car while the boys played with mom at the playground.)

Where: Fort Hill at Ganondogan is off County Road 41 in Victor

What to know: Watch out for the mountain bikers! The Ganondogan trails intersect with the Dryer Road trails. The latter is known for its mountain biking.

For more information: https://parks.ny.gov/historic-sites/attachments/GanondaganTrailMap.pdf

Learning to ski

My husband is the only pro skier amongst us. Dreaming of weekends spent skiing as a family, I signed my oldest son and me up for lessons at Powder Mills Park, in Pittsford, Monroe County. Swain Ski Resort and Monroe County Parks teamed up to bring downhill skiing at that park, which has a gradual hill that’s perfect for beginners.

My son enrolled in a ski camp at the park during winter break from school. (The park also offers another camp during Presidents’ Week in February.) I also took a one-hour “open group lesson” on a Sunday in January.

We’re not about to tackle a Black Diamond trail anytime soon. But I’m happy to report that my son and I are A LOT more comfortable on skis and can kinda ski down a hill without falling (too much!).

Where: Powder Mills Park, 154 Park Road in Pittsford

What to know: There’s a tow rope. A dreaded tow rope.

For more information: https://www2.monroecounty.gov/files/parks/Powdermills%20Park%202018%20Trifold.pdf

For more on skiing, read 18 Places to Ski & Snowboard in Upstate New York

Sledding

You’ll need some kind of hill in your yard for this one. But for the second year in a row, my husband has dug a sledding “luge” course around our yard after every major snow. A lot of great outdoor time is spent racing down the course.

What to know: We found that digging out an actual sledding or “luge” course is essential if you want to avoid crashing into things in my yard – like trees, the pool, and the creek.

Hockey

I signed my son up for a beginner skating/hockey class. He hated it. Enough said.

What’s next?

Snowshoeing! I can’t wait to rent or buy snowshoes and take our outdoor adventures to the next level. I’ll make sure to consult When In Snow Country, Snowshoe before taking the plunge.